Dear So and So…Romance Edition

My UK friends have some fabulous blog hops. I joined Silent Sunday over at Mocha Beanie Mummy and now I’m hopping on the Dear So and So bandwagon from Kat over at 3bedroombungalow. It’s a cleverly sarcastic way of letting go. Here’s my first crack at it:

Dear So and So...

Dear Mr. Flattery:

Yes, I know about devotees and no, I’m not interested. A man with a special attraction to women with disabilities is the most unattractive man to me. I am loved in spite of, not because of.
And if you really paid attention, you would see that I am married and I despise homewreckers! As I always say…keep it moving!

Wiping up the vomit from the thought of you,
Mrs. Already Unconditionally Loved

Dear Salivating Hubby Admirers,

I know you exist somewhere out there — preying in the shadows, ready to pounce when the time feels right. But it’ll never be because you’ll never be me! I waste no energy on you because you don’t matter! You are not an improvement or walking carbon copy of me. I know his dedication is a turn-on, but it can’t be duplicated with a poor substitute of his true love. Have some class and self-worth and find your own knight in shining armor.

Laughing at your desperation,
The WIFE

Dear Superman,

God answers prayers. Time heals all wounds. Love ain’t effortless, but worth the work! I’m glad we learned to not sweat the small stuff (or the avalanches we’ve faced)! Oh, and there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you today…

Imagining your sheepish grin,
Superwoman